Growing in love for others is the result of deepening one's relationship with God. God is love so the closer we get to Him the more of His love penetrates our heart. It is the love we receive from God that creates the desire to love Him back. John 14:15 says to love God is to obey His commandments.
There are many ways we can appear spiritual, healing the sick, raising the dead, serving as a deacon/elder, worshipping with our hands up, falling down in the Spirit. Yet, our religious works are dead if not motivated by love (1 Cor. 13). Jealousy, envy, control, pride are often rampant amongst church leadership, true Kingdom leaders are known for one main character and that is love. Being Apostolic, Prophetic, performing miracles is nothing but clanging symbols without love.
Paul was most impressed with the Thessalonians because their faith was flourishing and their love for one another was growing. One of the most frustrating parts of the ministry is the lack of volunteers. Love is the motivating factor behind faith increasing. Faith and love are verbs meaning action words. So if we want to see more action by those we lead, we need to display to them God's love more. Churches can be full of people doing all sorts of religious things and yet really not connected to each other. Ministries need to scale back and keep things simple where growing in relationship with God and each other is the main emphasis.
As it says in verses 11 and 12 in order to live worthy lives where God is honored by the choices we make and the words we speak as leaders we need to provide the right environment. Ephesians 4:16 says each part of the body supplies grace to the other parts, so therefore to be enabled we need to be growing in God's love together as His body. If we want more of God we need to connect closer with other growing believers. Our issues will never be resolved isolated it is the body of Christ operating together that frees each member from the iniquities that can so easily beset them.